“I know this is belated, but as in the case of birthday wishes, you gotta take it (albeit begrudgingly at times).
So I see you tried to lead by example, even if it was (failed) Pied Piper style, cause ain’t no SA Comedians drowning cause of you, most being Black, they know better than to approach water. So much to say, clocks ticking (as are characters), therefore I’ll streamline this for you:
DUDE, like WHAAAAAAT???
Am I an avid LNN viewer, popcorn warmed, Alarm on, friends and girlfriend ditched (favourite chilling, rip-torn boxers worn and best position on couch re-discovered) in support, and if I could pause and be so bold, it’s so far from my cup of tea, when swallowed it tastes like Stroh Rum (WOW, haven’t indulged in that for … like … EVA!).
but back to the matter at hand, because if left to my own devices, you’ll find me suckling at the titties in no time (see, it’s already begun). What you have so impressively managed to do, besides look like a “Hit-seeking Imbecile” (so close, but doesn’t REEEEALLY rhyme with missile does it?) is forget to illustrate that you have a clear understanding of the man’s mission (one he is completing with Bond-like, Hunt-inspired perfection) and that is to give the people (yes, we aren’t all on the small screen to ensure that you’re entertained, oh opinionated, ill-informed one). That humour you speak of would be lost on THE MAJORITY of people who ensure that you see another Season (because unlike America, we have 11 different national languages, our own way of ubuntu-inspired life-Kasi living, we think differently, our own specific brand of music and a whole lot more differences-probably not up to your gold-plated-carrot-up-your-YIIIIIIIIIIIP- that’s right ash! (ooops, why no spell check Chief?) that make this country so freaking great (as opposed to your Obese-mecca for the loud, which I’m sure you’re more suited for).
Unless you can ask your boss (YIIIIIIIP, took it there), to get some of his sponsors to seriously back those that literally swear off ‘Iyo, nice time, nice time!’ in the pursuit of laughs from ungrateful ingrates who have no appreciation for the depths these men dive to hoping to resurface with any form of repeatable and respectable, with a side order of longevity, income to allow them to ‘splash out’ and maybe eat at Ocean Basket (YIIIIIIIIIP, it’s that dire) once in a while, you need to watch your freaky deaky words Boet (Aaaaaah, written aggression can be achieved with such ease, unlike long-lasting success stories in the Comedy Industry (forget Wally, where’s Vlismas?).
Having ditched that particular world, for the sake of more sobriety and actual income that would make a mother proud as opposed to bringing her out of retirement to take her of her ‘sweet little son that’s a bitch).
I had so much more to say, but alas, the fact that you’ll probably never read this because it’s served it’s purpose when sent out (and what a rise you got, several other blogs, Tweets, like a certain pizza, The Works) and that you’ll probably never read this, being the know-it-all “OMG, look at this Oak….Hello, oh hey 2011, yeah, I think he misses you too” (Use it, it’s on me, that’s right, at my expense).
NEVER compare your home country to others too, especially the US. immediate reader alienation and proof that while Loyiso is out there giving people what they want (the guy has a History of that, the crazy coot), you’ve got your sights set on the ‘Other’ box.
Total case of one so immersed in his 10 percentile way of life, he forgets that he makes up a small number (even though they own 90%) and E-TV is reaching those okes, not you chilling in Camps Bay, typing on your latest Mac, Gucci shades strategically placed in a manner that expresses that you’re fashionable, but it doesn’t define you, looking for that next philosophical debate to drop in your pieces to ensure that your peers are fully aware that: When it comes to know-it-all’s, your all know no boundaries at all!”
I remember the first time that I performed for my first big crowd. As I was nervously trying not to crap my pants backstage, the hum of the audience gradually grew into a buzz and then into what could be mistaken for an angry mob, but in actual fact was an excited and anxious audience ready to get their one hundred and fifty rands worth of laughs. My palms weren’t so sweaty, but my for some reason I had sweat between my bum cheeks. (I think that may have been caused by my nervous pacing up and down, trying to remember my set) Backstage I was surrounded by real heavy weight comedians; David Kau, Chris Forrest, Tumi Morake, Joey Rasdien and other miscellaneous celebrities taking advantage of their power to be anywhere they wanted to be. It reeked of ego and success backstage, so I needed to pace around in the corridor so that I didn’t get intimidated by the aroma.
I cannot forget how amazing it felt to finally walk onto the stage at Centre Court, Emperors Palace that night. The audience was 4000 strong. All I could see ways a sea of bodies from the front of the stage to the back of the hall. I entered the stage with my comedy alter-ego, a character I have not yet given a name yet to and would like to evolve some more. I had them from “Hello”. I floated through my set like a seasoned yet slightly nervous comedian (and forgot to mention a few gags I had planned on saying, but it’s in those moments that an artist can see space for improvement).
After the whole show, I remember people shouting “Hey comedian, good job” and “hey, the funny man” and although I enjoyed those brief pockets of adoration, at the back of my mind I was still thinking “So this is what it feels like to be a comedian… maybe one day I will earn the title”. Since that day people had been calling me a comedian (and although I know I had not fully earned the title, I still enjoyed the feeling that it gave people as their faces would light up at the idea of you possibly making them laugh) It was addictive. I felt like a crack addict and like any drug addict, my addiction slowly became my downfall. The more I would call myself a comedian, the more people would expect me to make them laugh and ultimately the pressure to make people laugh would be so stressful that all I would want to do is hide away from the title of comedian.
Any real comedian, however, would have the ability to make someone laugh on command. It comes with the territory, but the reason that they would be able to handle any “hey-make-me-laugh-right-now” situation is because of their dedication to writing material on a daily basis, their experience in reading a crowd, their wealth of jokes stacked up in their comedy-cerebral-cortex, their mastering of comic timing, the love for wanting to make any and everyone laugh and a little dose of stroking their already inflated egos (and I don’t mean that in a bad way, because you need to have confidence and balls to make it big in an industry filled with so many haters)
After a while i figured I can’t hide away from this label of comedian that I know I do not deserve. I figured the only options available to me is to hide from the title or to try to embrace the title and the only way to embrace the title comedian is to invest as much time and effort into comedy as you would any other job. I started to watch more local comedy, I started to run comedy venues, I started to write some new material, I started hanging around other future “would be” comedians, feeding of their energy. The creative process of becoming a comedian is very exhilarating but can sometimes overshadow an entertainers ability to be able to make their art-form commercially viable. There are so many comedians who love the process more than the actual money side of things, which is all good and fair until that “comedian” faces the hardships that life my throw at you like marriage, children, crime, car payments, rent, medical aid, investments, car accidents etc…
I am not one of those “I-don’t-care-where-my-next-meal-comes-from” comedians, so I have always done comedy on the side and focused more energy on my day job in online media, but now 4 years down the line, I feel as if I am maybe 12 months away from graduating into a fully fledged comedian. The last few months have been a real roller coaster ride for me. This is the first month where my earnings from my comedy / entertainment side of things outweighed the income that get from my basic salary and commission from my online media sales.
Something very strange happens to you when you realise that you can actually make a living from something that you love so much. All of a sudden everything looks brighter, the grass is greener, that dude with the very bad breath doesn’t phase you any more… something happens inside of you that you can’t explain because you know very soon you will have to make the decision. Do I stay with my day job, do I focus on my biggest passion and dream or do I do both. This brings up the debate of Jack of all trades vs. Master of one. I have not made any rash or major changes as of yet. I think for now I will enjoy the fact that if needs be, I could survive on comedy alone (but one must not forget that we are in season for corporate bookings etc… so I must not think that I will be making the same dollar during off season)
All I can say is that right now I actually feel like a comedian. I am running regular comedy evenings at Zula Bar every Monday, I booked myself and two other comics a corporate comedy gig, I am the lead in the Castle Lite Yeti advert, I wrote a very cool no-holds-barred article for GQ magazine online, I just performed comedy at the 2011 SA Blogs Awards and I do the Trevor Noah voice for the ZA News Trevor Noah puppet. I feel good right now, the question is, can I keep this up… ‘course I can!
I think that it’s time for me to straighten something out with everyone. A lot of people like throwing around the word comedian like is a frizz-bee but in actual fact, so many people who call themselves comedians are not actually comedians (including myself… there, I said it). According to Wikipedia (and by the way, if you haven’t made a donation to Wikepedia yet, you should. They are doing great work for our benefit) the definition of a comedian is: “A comedian (sometimes comedienne, see below) or comic is a person who seeks to entertain an audience, primarily by making them laugh. This might be through jokes or amusing situations, or acting a fool, as in slapstick, or employing prop comedy. A comedian who addresses an audience directly is called a stand-up comic.”
I like to think that a comedian is someone whose primary income comes from performing comedic services which include (and not limited to); comedy writing, comedy consulting, voice work, stand-up comedy, running comedy gigs, corporate comedy performances, comedy bookings, script writing, TV commercials, comedic plays… Although I have been involved in all of the above mentioned “comedic services” my main income does not come from comedy. In fact, although I may fall under both the Wiki-definition and have performed all of the above comedic services, I would still consider myself to be an entertainer / entepreneur.
I think that the term “comedian” should be earned. Over the past 4 years I have grown a very strong respect for the comedy industry and also realised that in some ways I had taken the industry for granted (Like most South Africans). I think I fell in love with the idea of being on a stage, getting all that attention, hopefully shagging a few groupies, making millions, becoming the CEO of some other cellphone network, buying a house in Malibu, touring the world, living in hotels and planes, rubbing shoulders with the likes of Katt Williams and Donald Trump… the good life. The reality is that the “good life” takes a lot of hard work.
If yuo think about any office job, you will realise that people go into the office and work for 8 hours a day. If you apply that to comedy, then any individual who considers themselves a comedian should be doing 8 hours of work a day. This could include anything from writing, doing auditions, pitching for clients, meeting with an agent (Maybe GETTING AN AGENT), polishing material, watching comedy DVDs, research… anything that will better their craft. The sad reality is that almost 60% of people who call themselves comedians do not do the above activies for 8 hours a day. (You can probably tell that I just sucked that figure out of my ass… but it is an estimate I made up taking into consideration the “comedians” I know that have day jobs and those without).
I think that someone earns the title comedian through years of dedication and hard work. I do understand that some people are slightly more talented than others and could have a higher capacity to churn out good material in less time than 8 hours a day (or even 30 minutes a day). The reality is that even someone who is a so called “young, up and coming comedian” who has performed to over 25000 people live, performed all over South Africa for the past 4 years in festivals, on TV, corporate gigs and club gigs, I still do not think that I have quite earned the title of comedian.
I need to get writing again, I need to be churning out a new set a week. I need to be going to workshops with other comics, I need to find myself some sponsors, I need to re-invest in talent to such a point that I am earning enough money to cover my rent, petrol, food, entertainment and sundry monthly expenses purely on comedy money. I’m not saying that I will only be a comedian once my comedy earnings have earned my a place in Camps Bay and a Z4 (like Marc Lottering), I’m saying, the day that my comedy earnings replace my salary and commission, I am still an account executive who entertains people in his spare time.
We all need to wake the fuck up and start calling spades, spades! Do not live in a disillussioned world thinking that you can be protected by the word “comedian”. Earn the word, live the word, love the word… but more importantly, respect the word. One day I will be a comedian and the world will be better for it…
South Africa is riddled with confused individuals. We are all so confused because we are still trying to find our own identity within this corrupt-government, multi-cultural, multi-lingual and multi-sexual country of ours. Take me for example. I was born of two Sotho parents in Soweto. When I first attended Redhill Pre-Primary School I could not speak English. Over the years, being surrounded by white friends and being exposed to the “Sandton Lifestyle” and culture (yes… believe it or not Sandton does have its own unique culture), I become what most people commonly refer to as the token black guy. By the time I was in high school I had graduated from Token Black Guy into a Coconut (Cum laude). You may be reading this and thinking that it is a bit strange that a black guy is admitting that he is a Coconut, but I think we all just need to overcome the labels that have been thrown at us, so that we can better see who we are.
Most people think that the word Coconut is a derogatory term, but in my mind I’m thinking, “if being a Coconut means I can openly sleep with white women and still get a BEE grant… that’s the shit”. I am not scared to admit that I am a Coconut in fact my underlying motive is to convince all other Coconuts out there to stand up and be counted. The way I see it, if homosexuals can come out the closet, I think it’s time that Coconuts came out the fridge.
Coconuts actually play a very important role in the process of cultural diversity. Some of the world’s most beautiful people are products of Coconuts. For example; Jerome Jesse Berry was an American Coconut who married Judith Ann (Caucasian). They gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named HALLE BERRY! Boom! And for you ladies out there, if Roxie Rocker and Sy Kravitz never bumped ugliest, young girls all over the world would not be able to swoon over the likes of LENNY KRAVITZ. Double boom!!
I think the term Coconut should encompass more than just black people who have embraced whiteness, but rather, it should relate to anyone who has embraced a different culture than the one they were born of. I mean let’s be realistic. Although I was born SeSotho, I have been speaking English 90% of my life, 90% of my friends growing up were my white school mates and since I’m being so honest I may as well admit that about 70% of the women that I have slept with are white. It does not mean that I have forgotten where I come from, but I have been conditioned into certain habits over the years, that my comfort zone may be different now than when I was 5 years old.
I call the process Coconutization (and yep, I’m making up words now). Coconutization or the process of being Coconutized means “the adaptation of an individual from one culture to another”. The more colloquial term (in fact the slang term for it) is the “Michael Jackson syndrome” or “MJS”. We all know Michael Jackson was born physically black and died physically white. His transformation serves as a great metaphor for Coconutization but people must realize that one does not need to go through those kind of extreme changes just to get some Caucasian nookie.
Let’s all accept the fact that we are confused. I’ve seen Indians who speak Zula, Nigerians who speak Afrikaans, black people who can swim, whites who dance better than some of my black friends, Jews who eat pork, alcoholic Muslims … times are very confusing. If we are to move forward as people, we need to overcome the boxes that people have put us in by altering the meaning and implications of those boxes. If someone calls you a snob, Coconut, Wigger, Nigger, koolie, Towelhead or whatever, just alter the meaning in your mind into something more palatable so that you take power over the labels instead of the labels taking power over you. The word “fuck” used to be so offensive because it was not used frequently, but these days the word “fuck” is less potent because it is used more frequently. It doesn’t have the power it used to have. I am not saying that I want to live in a world where worlds like fag, kraut, redneck, bitch, fuck, kaffir, nigger, cracker, chink, kyke and towelhead become part of daily conversations, but we do need to take steps in making sure that the derogatory terms lose all power. It starts with you. I am proud to be a Coconut… my own version of what I think a Coconut represents (and not the version that was portrayed on the TV series)
Comedy in Cape Town is growing all the time. There are many young acts from UCT including Schalk Bezuidenhout, Oliver Booth, Dalin Oliver and Shaun Fickling who are really making moves into the industry while studying Drama at UCT. This is a very important part of bridging the gap between those who are studying in the arts and an audience that is hungry for new talent.
As it stands, the young up and coming comedians such as Gino Fernandez, Rustum August, Peter Sserwanga, Mum-z, KG, Liam Bento, Kurt Langeveld, Ryan Carelse, Anne Hirsch, Chris Steenkamp, Carl Webber, LNK, Shaun Jejane, Brendan Murray and many others are working very hard to push their comedic abilities and improve their content so that they can join the ranks of the comics who have put on one man shows like Dylan Skews, Siv Ngesi, Mark Palmer, Werner Weber, Paul Snodgrass, martin Evans, Mark Lottering, Nick Rabinowitz, Riaad Moosa Kurt Schoonraad and many others.
There have been various comedy workshops in Cape Town where comics have been coming together to help each other with their material, come up with new content, push their creativity and it is these workshops that will form the foundation of a booming comedy industry.
The hardest factor that affects the growth of the comedy industry in the region is that there are not enough institutions, unions or organisations that are dedicated to resolving the lack of structure within the comedy industry in Cape Town (and South Africa at large) and although the building blocks are in place, the industry needs some kind of capital investment to be able to create such institutions.
The life span of a successful comedian begins with open mic spots in comedy clubs (to get experience, gauge audience response and to practice), then they move into support spots (where they essentially get paid to warm up the audience before the headline act), then to becoming a headliner (where they are the last and technically best act of the night). Once the comedians have gotten to this level at club gigs, they need to then start building on their brand of comedy and their brand as a financially viable product. They can do this in various ways:
1 – Freelance comedy writing: this would entail commissioned writing of comedy articles for magazines, newspapers, clients, scripts etc… and the cost structure of this revenue income depends on various elements inclusing the comedian’s reach, popularity, abilities, demographic but more importantly on what clients are willing to pay for their services
2 – Corporate comedy gigs: this can include MCing events, launches, gala dinners, year end functions and even putting together corporate comedy packages where a number of comics may perform for one client as a show. The cost structure on this needs to be regulated in a way that clients understand the value of comedy within the corporate world according to the amount of time that will be spent MCing or performing. The comedians or agents can set whatever rate they consider to be of worth to the artist but for the industry as a whole, artists should consider rates of at least R15 000 for such jobs because of the amount of work that goes into holding an event like that together.
3 – Blogging: comedians with strong followings or good writing abilities can earn additional revenue by having blogs or micro-blogs of value. This can be done through advertising, sponsored blog posts, paid for e-Newsletters, selling of comedy content / merchandise online (e-commerce), affiliate advertising or even sponsorship. The revenue made online can be automated which will allow the artist to focus on their passion which is the content and if set up right, the revenue on the blog will increase as the content gets better and more readers begin to see value in the site.
4 – Merchandising: Most comedian forget that as an entertainer, you can branch out into merchandising (i.e. making t-shirts, CDs, DVDs etc…) which could be a very good way of making income (sometimes even residual income from DVD royalties) and marketing themselves.
5 – Voice work: there is a very big demand for comedic voices doing voice work for voice-overs for TV, radio and web. This is a great way of earning additional income and also a great way to hone their skills.
6 – Castings: most comedians either come from an acting background or would hopefully like to get into TV, theatre and film. The best thing to do is to get an agent to represent you so that you are in the know when jobs are available (auditions, castings, readings etc…)
Due to the fact that the above revenue generation methods can be very scary and require good management, most comedians do not have the time, know how or effort to try to generate finances for their brand and thus most of them resort to 9-5 jobs in order to be able to pay their bills and SURVIVE. Although there are various agencies dedicated to helping comedians with castings and audience (e.g. ERM Stars) there are not too many management companies that are willing to manage comedians conclusively. Most management companies in South Africa tend to focus on a hand full of high grossing comedians and there is a big lack of development of young fresh talent. This lack of development is where the capital backing needs to be geared towards. The industry needs an injection of capital that will allow the industry in Cape Town (and South Africa) to be able to allow for comedians to go through the processes in a structured manner.
This all very easy to type into a blog post put becomes much trickier when trying to implement, but I think that it should be in the interests of all comedians in South Africa to think of ways to unify us all rather then for us to continue working in what can only be described as an “unstructured politics-infested amateur comedy industry”. Although the Comics Choice Awards is a very integral step into achieving such unity, there is still space for more institutions, awards ceremonies, unions, workshops, comedy courses and most importantly a mentoring system that will help tie all of it together.
It is the fact that there is such opportunity in the industry that it is a very exciting place to be right now because now is the time for artists in the comedy industry to get involved and be a part of something great. It’s time for comedians to get off their asses and start asking the kind of questions that will eventually get them to a point where they can sustain a full life on their abilities in comedy alone.
I have always been proud of my brother’s career in acting since he was on “The Line”, “Going Up”, “Generations”, “Yizi Yizo”, “Isidingo”, “Flat 27″ and “Hotel Rwanda” just to name but very few productions he has been in (not even inclusing the plays and theatre work). My sister just sent me through this article that talks of my brother’s involvement in his latest project where he will be starring alongside Brad Pitt. Go Mokoena-power… do what we do best.
On the left you can see a picture of me and my siblings at my sister’s wedding. Good times…
SA actor joins Brad Pitt movie 2011-07-18 12:33 by Gabisile Ndebele
Johannesburg – South African actors are making their mark on the international acting scene, as three more announce their involvement in big-budget foreign productions.
The latest actor to take his craft abroad is former Generations and Hotel Rwanda actor Fana Mokoena, who announced that he was to going to star alongside Brad Pitt in a zombie film.
Mokoena wrote on his Twitter page: “Today I travel to the UK to shoot World War Z with Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos and Anthony Mackie. SA will be proud.”
Zombies
The film is based on Max Brooks’s 2006 novel World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War, which is set in the American city of Philadelphia in the aftermath of a war between humans and zombies.
KwaZulu-Natal singer Nondumiso Tembe has been cast in the massively succesful HBO vampire TV series True Blood.
And Cape Town-born actress Lesley-Ann Brandt has a part in the new Sam Worthington film Drift where she plays Hawaiian surfer chick Lani.
Worthington is the star of Avatar and Clash of the Titans. The film will be shot in Australia.
Recently L’Oréal face Terry Pheto was chosen to star in US soapie The Bold and the Beautiful.
Standard bank has created this game called “Livin’ It Up” which is much like the SIMS, but is specifically designed to educate the masses on insurance through a very simple but highly addictive and very fun online game. I started playing the game a few months back but due to my useless knowledge of insurance and my really childish spending habits, so I swallowed my pride and found myself having to reset my score (which ironically increased my score by 10 times… trust me, I am useless when it comes to insurance)
So I have started playing the game again but now I am only focusing on SECURITY items. (You should play the game yourself, just click here and find out all about it) One of my colleagues here in the office told me that the more security items you purchase, the better the results in the game. I took his advise, but because I took that advise my house doesn’t really look at that great. Check out my crib below:
You may be asking yourself, why would anyone want to play this game? The grand prize is a BMW 320i… enough incentive for you? I think so… There are also spot prizes every month. I thought my house looked okay until I saw some of the other people’s house. When I saw this house, I thought to myself, I need to get some help from my friends, followers, colleagues, Bergies… antone really so that I can get my depressive looking house to look more like this one…
…Maybe with less statues of liberty. *Fade out with Alecia Keys’ “New York”…*
There seems to be a very hot debate happening on the interwebs over an article written by Sipho Hlongwane on 2oceansvibe about his personal opinion on South African comedy. For those of you who don’t know Sipho Hlongwane, to quote directly from The Daily Maverick,
“Sipho Hlongwane is a writer and a columnist. His interests range from social networking to history. Basically anything, as long as it doesn’t involve maths. He has driven forklift trucks, hosted radio shows, waited tables, reviewed books and has won prizes in visual arts competitions. You know, the normal, growing-up stuff.” (click here to see his full profile on The Daily Maverick)
For those of you who do not know Loyiso Gola (then I don’t know what you are doing even following my blog… this is a niche South African comedy blog, you should know Loyiso by now, but to be fair, not everyone knows Loyiso Gola or else he would have been on an international movie like Russell Peters on “Source Code”, but then an entertainer’s role in an international blockbuster is not secured only on fame and popularity, but also talent, because as we speak, my brother Fana Mokoena is acting in World War Z with Brad Pitt which should come out in then next year or so… but I digress)
The core of Sipho’s article is that he made some very bold conclusions about South African comedians based purely on the LNN show. The article stirred a debate on 2oceansvibe (click here to see the original debate) and actually got a response from Loyiso Gola himself. Below is a little snippet that illustrates the tone of his response:
“I THINK YOUR OPINION PIECE IS WELL THOUGHT OUT, YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. YOU WERE THERE WITH DAVID KAU AT THE BAXTER WHEN HE WAS PLAYING TO 12 PEOPLE EVERY NIGHT AS A STUDENT IN 2001 TO SELLING OUT A 5000 SEATER TEN YEARS LATER. YOU WERE THERE WHEN WAS WHEN HE WAS CULTIVATING AN AUDIENCE. OH YEAH I REMEMBER SEEING YOU EVERYDAY ON THE SET OF PURE MONATE SHOW WHEN DAVID KAU AND KAGISO LEDIGA INTRODUCED THE MASSES TO STAND UP COMEDY.
YOUR EXPERTISE ON THIS SUBJECT ARE SPOT ON, THE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WHO TUNE IN EVERY WEDNESDAY TO WATCH LNN ARE MORONS AND THE E NEWS CHANNEL ARE CRAZY FOR GIVING US A THIRD SEASON IN SEPTEMBER. 10000 PEOPLE WERE CRAZY TO BUY TICKETS TO TREVOR NOAH’S TOUR. 6000 PEOPLE INSIDE THE ROYAL ALBERT HALL LONDON ARE MAD TO PAY 60 POUNDS TO WATCH SOUTH AFRICAN ACTS. YOUR OPINION IS WELL RESEARCHED.” - (click here to see the full response)
What I find very interesting about all of this is in any debate, I like to try and figure out people’s motives for writing what they have written. Firstly, being a sales director for Africa’s biggest blog aggregator (Afrigator.com) I have a very good understanding as to how popular blogs (like 2oceansvibe) get to have such a huge readership. Controversy is probably one of the easiest ways in which to get more readers. Debates, arguments, opinions are the ingredients of so-called “interesting reading” and facts are the ingredients of dictionaries and encyclopedia’s. My niche role in all of this well be to to attempt to bridge the two together.
I have already introduced you to the two main players in this debate, Sipho Hlongwane and Loyiso Gola. Having checked out Sipho’s profile on The Daily Maverick, I tried to see if he had written any previous articles on comedy (so that I could see if he was an authority on comedy or even a regular supporter of stand up comedy). If you check his past articles on The Daily Maverick he has a very impressive archive of articles ranging from black consciousness, politics and media. Nothing about comedy though.
So comedy is not his forte, but to be fair he may be trying to do more comedy writing and this is just a start, in which case I commend him for his efforts, but advise him to watch more live stand up comedy instead of composing opinions about the whole of the SA comedy industry while lounging in his couch criticizing the LNN show. His article was entitled “Where are all the good comedians?” and my answer to him is “In the comedy clubs”. Someone could have saved him a whole blog post if they had just answered his question. More importantly, his article actually insults not only the LNN show but EVERY single comedian in South Africa, myself included.
Usually when I am insulted, I get angry, but in this case, I am not so angry because I do not really think that his opinion matters in this particular case. He is an opinionista (which means he gets paid to express his opinion - a concept I find very interesting because everyone has an opinion, but only few get paid to express theirs… mmmm, the plot thickens) and thus he is used to expressing his opinions. He has a huge following, so clearly lots of people like his opinion (or find it to be “interesting reading”). The problem with opinionista’s is that they are so used to intellectual masturbation that sometimes their brains can get so drenched in debate-semen that they want to start debates about topics they no nothing about, just for the sake of their egos – which are fueled by intellectual masturbation.
I found it interesting that in Sipho’s profile it said “ His interests range from… Basically anything, as long as it doesn’t involve maths.” Unfortunately for Sipho, entertainment (especially comedy) is a numbers game. How many gigs can you perform, how many fans can you please, how big can you grow you database, how many sold out venues have you performed, how many comedians have you seen live, how many viewers actually watch the LNN show, how many comedy events are there actually in South Africa, how much money must go into marketing to fill out a theatre of 600, how many people are influenced positively from comedians in South Africa? Although comedy is a form of social commentary, your success and understanding of the industry is based on realising that it is a numbers game.
So what I am trying to say is that Sipho expressed his opinion on South African comedy (which lacked much research) and Loyiso’s response was a factual retaliation. In this case I just need to see who’s opinion matters to me, so let me try and run the numbers on this one:
Sipho Hlongwane – very good writer, but not an authority within the comedy world
Loyiso Gola – has performed to thousands of fans live, has featured in various TV shows, host of LNN (which has millions of viewers), has been on many comedy dvds, has been performing comedy for ten years
Between the two of them, in this case, Loyiso’s numbers over-rule Sipho’s opinion. We all know that facts tell, but stories sell, but in this particular instance I think that Sipho needs to do the math. The good comedians are in comedy clubs [fullstop] Don’t look for good comedians on TV. That’s like looking for good quality apples in Apple Crumble. When you looking for something good, go to the source… not the sauce. If you want to know where those clubs are, CLICK HERE.
Below are some other articles on this issue written by people who’s opinion I respect within the comedy industry:
So it’s that time of the year where men all over the world do not have to hide their appreciation of titties. In fact, today, tittie-appreciation is encouraged. Why? Because it’s National Boob Day. Yes, I said it. Today is a great day because we don’t have to pretend that we are looking at the necklace’s around a woman’s neck. No, no no. Today, we can STARE. That’s right. All you spectacle wearing mother fuckers need to up the voltage on your glasses prescription and if you are short sighted, just be careful not to motorboat the lovely lady whose cleavage you are trying to appreciate. (That image is actually making me laugh right now, as I type this sentence. Good times)
But before I start ranting and raving about the spledifurous nature of the bulge that is created by two ripe breast fight for space in a wonderbra, we need to understand the reason behind National (Nay) World Cleavage Day. According to Wikipedia, “National Cleavage Day (abbreviated NCD) is an annual celebration in South Africa held in either March or April and sponsored by the brassiere marketer Wonderbra. National Cleavage Day was started in 2002 and held at the beginning of April every year.” NCD is supposed to be in support of Breast Cancer, which is an admirable cause, but that does pose some very interesting questions:
When are they going to create National Bulge Day in support of testicular cancer?
Isn’t supporting Breast Cancer through National Cleavage Day much like supporting Polio through National Riverdance Day?
I am not trying to devalue the concept, au contraire… I think that it is ingenious. In fact, there is a really cool World Cleavage Day App that you can use on Facebook. CLICK THIS LINK TOP CHECK IT OUT:
So to show my support for National / World Cleavage Day, I have posted up some cool boob-a-liscious content below. ENJOY!
OK, while patrolling Facebook to see WADDUP with my hommies on the FB side of life (yeah, ‘cause we gangster like that), one of them mentioned Rebecca Black (I won’t mention Pete’s name because it might embarrass him). This latest phenomen….no sorry, can’t go through with it. This latest musical monstrosity’s music video has 88 833 584 hits on YouTube. For those of you who have spared your precious ears the torture of having to take in this garbage, Mazel Tov (bet you didn’t know my second name was Blackstein now did you?). For the rest of us who have endured this new American Interrogation Method to the end, WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THOSE LYRICS?????? There were moments where I found myself saying out loud “Oh no you didn’t!” I’m sorry; I refuse to give this Oxygen thief another vowel out of my precious word count.
Ok, so why did I begin my usual mad-man rant in that way? Well, I do agree with Rebecca about one thing, Friday rocks and everyone looks forward to it, let’s be real. Even those that are funemployed await Friday with baited breaths because then they can hang out with their chommies that are gainfully employed and actually buy the odd round for everyone. Ok, I promised I wouldn’t, but something just occurred to me. This heinous music murderer who should be charged with deformation of music has an arsenal that includes lyrics like “Yesterday was Thursday, today is Friday tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards” SERIOUSLY????? OFF WITH HER HEAD (Aaaah, the good old days. Even if I would have been a slave back then, it would have been worth it just to see Rebeccca burnt at the stake as a witch).
Sorry, she just gets to me you know? What this article is really about is the truth about mankind. If you are like me and have had THE SEX with someone, you’ll realise that no matter how many forks we create, rules we use to restrict daily living and all the other social norms that dictate life, we are ANIMALS, just plain old animals. Boy meets girl, but due to tips and hints from Cosmo, boy takes her to several romantic dates, gets her flowers, candy and all assortment of gifts, opens doors, pulls out seats etc. Then he reaches his primal goal then: boy farts on girls head, goes out with chommies all the time then returns home demanding drunken sex, thinks being romantic is letting said girl tag along on a boys night out etc. See?
I’m sorry to be the one to ubruptly pool the wool away from thine eyes if you were enjoying some sort of fantasy life, but it’s the truth. Given the cash, many of us would love to sit around and just take it easy. I have sat with friends who have given intense thought to the idea of never having to get up to pee or (for the purposes of keeping this civil) No. 2. Really? That lazy huh? I mean have you seen what happens to people in December? Words like shaving and haircut become swearwords that cause more of an uproar than that swear word that rhymes with runt. Getting anyone to do anything is seen as a mission that not even Mr Ethan Hunt would take (unless it involved burying balls in the backyard).
I for one embrace my laziness. I fly that lazy flag super-low (Jeez boet it’s such a miss. to fly it high). Every day I work, I know that what I am working towards are those days where I could spend days in my pyjamas, but still get action because I’ll be so paid. Forget reaching for the stars. I’m reaching for the black hole so it can send me to the alternate universe (or a reverse world) where people all do nothing but strive to do something. There I would aim for failure. Oh, shout out to Tamsyn! Random, but it’s good to know there those that follow the crap I spew on the interweb.
Welcome to Mumz The Word (and no, this is not a real Facebook page). Let this site be your comedy playground. I will post articles of interest to the comedy industry and articles that are just generally funny. I would also like to encourage you guys to send through jokes that tickled you or made you hurl with unadulterated laughter.
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Welcome to Mumz The Word (and no, this is not a real Facebook page). Let this site be your comedy playground. I will post articles of interest to the comedy industry and articles that are just generally funny. I would also like to encourage you guys to send through jokes that tickled you or made you hurl with unadulterated laughter.
